The good enough life

Training Stats thus far:

Vertical feet ridden – 111,283

Training Hours – 256

Calories consumed – A LOT

Meditaion minutes – 1630

Race days – 1

 

My Everesting prediction:

Minimum hours to complete (on a good day) – 16

Maximum hours to complete (on a bad day)  – ?

 

I haven’t set a date for when I will attempt this challenge. In part because there are few things, equipment wise,that I need and I’ve just been waiting until I get the money for them. The other part is, I’m not sure if my fitness is… good enough.

 

Good enough.

 

It seems like such a self defeating phrase. Like you’re settling for less than you deserve. Is it really self defeating though and are you really getting less than you deserve? I guess it just depends on how you look at it.

 

Since I’ve never pushed myself in this way before I don’t have a baseline to look back on and judge from. This is the best place to be I think. At a point having too much information, I feel, can actually slow forward progress and keep you from taping in to your potential. In the past, when I was about to do something that was new, scary and beyond my perceived limits I’ve always imagined it to be absurdly harder than it actually turned out being. There were occasions where it was that hard but most times it wasn’t. When I have this imagined reality in my mind I always train and push myself harder, in whatever capacity I think is needed. The end result, for the most part, is coming out the other side performing better than I thought I would and realizing that it wasn’t as hard as I had imagined.

 

Th tricky part in this particular scenario is the time factor. Is my fitness good enough to last 16+ hours? Is my mind good enough to stay focused and positive for most of the time?

 

Ideally, I’d like to have my power on the bike be higher, my heart rate lower and some more race days under my belt. I would want to be at my peak and be firing on all cylinders. Having that feeling where speed is effortless to attain and climbing is a breeze. In reality I have to believe that’s not how I’m going to feel.  Since I don’t have the pleasure of having a coach and/or someone in my life more experienced in these type of challenges I’m just doing all the research I can, not too much though and keeping a positive outlook . Regardless of how I feel come that day, I will complete the challenge. If I keep striving for perfection and the feeling in my body I think I should have, I’ll go crazy, stress myself out and never even start.

 

What I’m starting to realize is that at a point, striving for perfection and those last 1-2% gains doesn’t serve you and your mission anymore. Yes, it’s OK to aim for perfection in hopes of giving your best effort come the game day but if it’s holding you back from making forward progress you need to just let go. Let go of those “well if I just tweak these two things then I’ll be ready…” thoughts and accept that good enough is…well…perfect.

Addiction?

Well I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a struggle to get this post finished. As any artist will tell you, once you set the bar at a certain level and realize what you’re capable of it’s hard not to judge everything you create there after by that bar. I’ve been inspired by a few podcasts on this topic but trying to get all my thoughts cohesive and make it an interesting read has been the hardest part. I then read too much into what I should or shouldn’t say which haults the flow and then I get frustrated that it’s not flowing which then leads to doubting myself and questioning the point of this whole blog. A vicious cycle for sure. So I’ve thrown my hands up and surrendered all hesitation and judgment.

Now on with the show…..

Question: Can depression be an addiction?

I’ve been siting and thinking on this question for a while and I go back and forth but I’ve come to the conclusion that NO it can’t. What is addicting are the habitual thoughts your mind goes through. A path that goes round and round which, if you’re not careful, can lead you down a dark hole of spiritual destruction.

Think about life situation—>Feel angry about said situation—>Have self-pity—>Listen to sad/contemplative music—>Get sick of feeling sad/angry—->Get motivated to pull myself up and out—->Get deflated that Im not able too—>Think about life situation—>Feel angry about said situation—>Have self-pity—>Listen to sad/contemplative music—>Get sick of feeling sad/angry—->Get motivated to pull myself up and out—->Get deflated that Im not able too—>Think about life situation—>Feel angry about said situation—>Have self-pity—>Listen to sad/contemplative music—>Get sick of feeling sad/angry—->Get motivated to pull myself up and out—->Get deflated that Im not able too—>

Self pity is a powerful drug. One that silently fills your head space like a dense fog consuming every mountain, filling every cave and valley. Before you know it all the sunlight has disappeared from your internal landscape. Leaving you directionless and stumbling over your own feet.

Whether the substance is alcohol, drugs, sex or habitual thought patterns I feel that the addiction stems from a traumatic life experience. One  that bruises and batters you, emotionally and spiritually. Once you’ve reached that low point where you’re done trying to cope and deal, the substance is then used as a solution to the problem until IT becomes the problem. But I feel, at the heart of the matter, the problem isn’t the substance abuse. The problem really, is that you’re a broken soul walking around with a spiritual malady, unable to sit still with your own thoughts. Whic is a hard and uncomfortable task.  One that does not jive well with our modern lifestyle of instant fixes and 3 minute abs. Until you’re willing and able to site with these thoughts you will constantly be restless, always battleing the addiction.  

Just something to think about…..but not too much. 

TTFN

Some filler

Hey everyone how’s it going?! I hope your new year is going well and that you’re on track to make a breakthrough in some area in your life. As I work on my next post I thought I’d fill you on what’s been going on.

The weather has been conspiring against me.

We have had some weird weather this past month. It seems like it snows on my days off and then warms up on the days I have to work. It has made outdoor riding, for me, non existent this month. *SIGH*

The view from my trainer is getting old!

I love the convenience of the trainer and the fact that I don’t have to spend 30 minutes putting on cold weather gear just ride but man I don’t know how much longer I can stand it. Im itching for warmer weather! On the plus side, training is progressing along nicely. I started this block of training with the same fitness that I had in the middle of last summer so that is definitely encouraging. Now it’s time to start fine tuning the work to more climbing and criterium efforts…YEEHAW!

I’m on a streak.

I currently on a 25 day mediation streak and I’m stoked! My mind is calm and I’m feeling more calm and balanced in my mood and everyday life. Slowly but surely I’m pushing through the clouds and finding those blue skies!

Getting straight.

Rehab is going good. Its becoming easier for the Chiropractor to get me adjusted and I’m holding my adjustments better which is all a plus. It was said today that “Adjusting athletes is like fine tuning a violin” I thought that statement was pretty cool.

Last but not least….

A little video for you that I had not intention of making. I had some pictures and video from some of my December rides and wanted to try and make something of them. I threw them in iMovie tweaked them a bit and I decided it looked decent enough to share. There is something special about the views at this time of year that you can only get in the mountain states.

Enjoy!

My road to Everest(ing)

“Hey so I’m going to take on a new bike challenge next year.”

“Oh yeah, what are you going to do?”

“It’s this thing called Everesting.”

“Ever sing?”

“No, Everesting. Like Mt. Everest.”

“Oh. What is that!?”

“Well glad you asked. Let me break it down for you.

1. Find a local climb in your area

2. Repeat this climb until you have reached a total of 8,848 meters or 29,028ft of elevation gain Which is the total gain of Mt. Everest. (Oh I see what you did there)

3. You can take as long of break and as many as you need but it has to be done in one ride. No going home and sleeping for 8 hours and coming back to finish.

“Hmmm…Ok so that sounds cool and a little insane but WHY?!”

” Again, glad you asked…..”

The short answer: Why Not?!

The long answer:

I honestly didn’t even have this in my sights when coming up with a plan and goals for next season. I had come up with some basic goals like starting my training earlier, get my body and mind stronger with smarter strength training and a more consistent meditation practice and stay healthy through the winter months. Then I saw a video of a guy who’s Youtube channel I subscribe to and he was talking about his experience with it, how long it took, what he ate etc. This got my attention so I went and checked out the web site. After reading up on the rules and a bit of the history behind the challenge my palms got a little sweaty and I became nervously excited at the thought of doing this myself.

“What hill do I want to use?How long is this going to take me? What am I going to eat? What if I’m not physically or mentally fit to finish? Will I see myself as a failure?” were just some of the questions that immediately popped into my head. Even after pondering these questions I could only think of a positive outcome and the overwhelming thought “I can do this and I will do this”. Even as I write about it I get a smile across my face because for whatever reason this particular challenge resonates with me.

As I’ve been making friends and family aware of what my plans are I’m coming up with more motivational reasoning to take this on. Maybe I can spark a little inspiration in those who don’t think they can push themselves beyond what they think they’re capable of or what they’ve been told they aren’t capable of. We are our own self limiters period! If you can see over the fence of these limitations, even just a little bit, then I think you have already taken a valuable first step in becoming a better you. And as a finial thought; We all need challenges, mental and physical. Hopefully by going through these challenges we can get a better understanding of who we are, what we want and where we want to go. Discovering and unlocking your most authentic self as they say. Up to this point I’ve had my share of mental and physical challenges but I have yet to put myself in position to test the two together. Which seems to me most endurance athletes, whether they are aware of it or not, are trying to do. So somewhere in the warmer months when the wild flowers are lining the road again you will find me going up and down again again and again.

TTFN